Why the Stories You’re Telling Yourself Are Keeping You [Ep#210]

In this episode, we are going to have a very frank conversation on the stories you are telling yourself versus the truth that actually exists. And why is keeping you small. Stay tuned.

 I’m Andrew Maxim. And this is the profitable practice podcast made for practitioners who are ready to build a six-figure practice with a million-dollar impact that also lets you close your laptop and be present with your family anytime you want to. Together, we will challenge the antiquated ways of running a practice, you will merge our brick and mortar online and build systemize and grow as maximized, practitioners. Welcome to the podcast.

Hey, guys, welcome to another episode of the podcast. This one is definitely inspired by conversations that I’ve had this week with elite level members, with my team members, and always with myself. And that is checking in on the stories. This is going to be a big storytelling episode. And a lot of it has to do with the stories that you are telling yourself. And I am always one, if I rank my core values, my first value is always going to be safety and security. Always, always always. My second one is responsibility. And my third one is integrity. And I did the work over the past couple of days before recording this episode thinking about all the times that I’ve tried to be irresponsible or be out of integrity. And I always get caught, I am just one of those people that could never be a thief, or could pull off a Big Heist. Because I just literally don’t have it in me the universe is not going to protect me to allow me to get away with these amazing things like The Italian Job or something like that I am destined to always be the responsible one, I am destined to always be in integrity. And quite frankly, I like living in that space. But there are times where I look at my husband and what he’s been able to do in his life and get away with are other people that are able to do things and get away with them. I’m just like, I just won’t be able to like there’s no way. There was one time where with the restructuring of the pandemic around the school. We weren’t allowed to park on the school parking lot anymore. We had to stay off site. But I was just in a rush. There was a spot. I was like, I’m just going to park on the school parking lot. And there happened to be teachers standing outside of the school that were just chatting and they were looking over at me and I was just like heart racing, anxious freaking out that they were just going to take down my license and like, tow my car away because I wasn’t parking where I was supposed to be let alone it was completely fine. But here I was panicked. And then I went and picked up my girls. And I thought the teachers went inside and went to my daughter’s classroom and told the teacher that I was parked, you know, quote, unquote, illegally. And they were going to ask me to move my car like I created this huge level of drama over something that was really nothing. But this is a perfect segue into today’s episode, which is talking about the stories we love to play, and how they are keeping us stuck, how they are preventing us from moving forward.

Another beautiful example happened yesterday on a discovery call for our elite level member program. And she wants to build a program she wants to create courses because she has such a long waiting list for new patients that she wants to start onboarding them through a like mini course of educational pieces, which keeps them engaged with her and then they finally have their initial visit like two or three months out. And she could not get beyond where to host the material, how to host it and how to collect payment like those were her big blockers and she created them to such a magnitude that she literally does nothing. And how many times have we done this in our own lives with our own businesses, where we’re just like, this is what I want to create. And I’m stuck at step minus one because I don’t even know what step the first step is to take. Usually when we get into that place out of desperation, we start investing a ton of money into digital courses into like buying like many things for like $9 $27 And we think okay, if I invest here, that’s going to give me the answer and yet I’m still stuck at minus one. Because I have no idea. And now I’ve just spent a ton of money but didn’t help me advance any further. I mean, we have all been there. Because when we are stuck, when we are out of momentum, we start presenting our energy in a way that’s frantic and very anxious. And then we start taking frantic anxious action, which in your business is going to be an energetic repellent first and foremost, because now you aren’t grounded and centered, so you can’t serve your patients or clients. But it’s also going to make running your business a lot less fun, because you are holding on to these stories that you have created, as legit reasons for why you can’t move forward or progress. And we all have those stories.

 And I’m going to challenge you to tag me on Instagram or send me a DM @andreamaximnd with a story that is immediately popping up in your head, either one that you have acknowledged and resolved, one that you are legitimately working on. But that’s why I thought it was so important to talk about this. Because how you let those stories run your life is going to literally dictate the path of your progression, the path of your success in this industry, and this industry is already so tumultuous for so many different reasons. There are a lot of people that are dipping their fishing line into the health industry ocean, that either are not qualified, that are overqualified, that are just doing it because it’s an industry that they can tap into. So, we’re having a lot of conflicting information out there that we have to kind of navigate our way through. We’re also as healers not born to be entrepreneurs, that isn’t why we got into the profession, we aren’t striving to make a million dollars, we’re striving to have a comfortable life that we feel fulfilled by the impact that we’re making on others. So even going into like building business mindset is really, really difficult for so many of us in this industry. Plus, if you are a licensed practitioner, or whatever certificated certification board you have, you are also being dictated on what you can or cannot do, which at least in Ontario, where I practice, I feel like we are constantly under a microscope and already by the time we graduate living in fear of being able to do just about anything. And again, it’s a story that we tell ourselves to be true. I heard from so and so that we can’t do this well. Is that a story? Or is that fact. And I love this. This is what my mentor said, and this is one of the things that I carry with myself all the time, and I’m constantly scanning for is what is truth. And what is either belief, or perception, or something that we are creating in our mind that is actually not real.

So, the only thing that is true in this very moment is that you are listening to this podcast. That is the only thing at this very moment. That is 100% truth for everyone. Everyone who is listening to this podcast is listening to this podcast, you could be watching the video version, you’re still listening to the audio, you could be in your car right now with your earbuds in and you’re listening to this episode. Everything else is a complete belief, perception or story that you are creating, you could be creating a story that you don’t like my voice. Maybe my voice is too nasal for you. I’ve never had anybody comment on that. But maybe that’s something that you don’t like maybe you don’t like the way that I communicate. Maybe you don’t like this topic, maybe you just don’t like me and my personality at all. And that’s cool. That is a belief or perception.

Other people will be like I listened to this podcast religiously. I love how she explains things. I love the tonality of her voice. It’s really soothing. So, the only truth at this very moment is that you’re listening to a podcast, all of the other things that you create are based off of feelings, beliefs, past history, and you’re creating a story as to the connection or the attachment you have to this very moment. And we do this all of the time.

I see this so often with new grads based on what I mentioned with regards to our regulatory board, that they hear all these bad things that have happened to people and more often than not, it’s a legitimate reason why they happened. But all these things that have happened to someone and then they immediately create the story that I can’t do any of it You know, we can’t block fee in Ontario, meaning we can’t have someone pay for services all upfront. So therefore, a lot of my colleagues in Ontario say, well, then I just can’t create a program because I can’t block fee, which is not the truth. The truth is you just have to find a way to rework the way you invoice. It’s not a big deal. But we create these big stories that immediately stop us from taking the action that we are wholeheartedly aligned to take. But we come up with reasons why we can’t. And I’m sure you can also think about this in your personal life, in your relationship, in your connection with your children.

We create these stories. So, what I’m encouraging you to scan constantly, when you’re thinking about motivation for your business confidence of you as a health and wellness practitioner, you know, anytime you are coming up with, well, “I don’t think patients or clients can afford my services. Well, is that the truth? Or is that a story you’re telling yourself?”

“I don’t think that this patient can afford this lab test. Well, is that the truth? Have they told you that they can’t? Or are you making that story preemptively, which is blocking you from actually serving your person the best way that you can?”

I was just talking to my team member today. And the big theme that she’s been seeing over the past couple of weeks is that no one can afford our services, no one will pay outside of their benefits. And no one wants to do just the simplest things. And I said, well, is that the truth? Or is that a story you’ve now created. And because of that energy you’re putting out there, you’re attracting more of those people. By the end of our conversation, it was 100%, her energy being that she’s just feeling stressed, and unaligned because of what she’s been going through. And she has to like check that.

So oftentimes, our stories will manifest as quote unquote, true because of the energy that we’re putting out. But it is still a story, right? So even when I’m starting to act in a new way, if I’m starting to get outside of my comfort zone, and I’m starting to feel these things coming up, I always ask myself, Is this a legitimate truth?

Do I know that this is what’s going to happen? Cause and effect the law of cause and effect?

Do I know if I take this action? This is what’s going to happen? Or could it be, okay?

You know, there’s always two sides to every story. But we always like the negative, the negative is where the drama is. And we always love drama. That’s just human nature.

For instance, a great example, if I niche down, this is a beautiful one, if I niche down, I’m afraid to niche down because I’m afraid that all of the patients or clients that I have been working with are going to not enjoy my new message. And they’re going to abandon me. And I had this conversation with an elite level member this week. And I said, well, do we know that that is true? Do we know that if you start becoming convicted on what you want, on the program that you love that you see the best results with on the program that you want to put out there into the world? Do we know that your business is going to collapse? If you lean in on your protocol is your niche? And of course, the answer is no. And then what is the worst-case scenario if that were to happen? Well, then we go back to what we were doing at this moment, and no harm, no foul, no, no harm, no foul.

The other thing is about hiring. So, a lot of my Maximize Practitioner program members are wanting to then hire employees, reception associates, other contractors. And so of course, the first story we tell ourselves is I’m going to hire the wrong person, it’s not going to work out, they’re going to quit, and then I’m going to be you know, left in the lurch. Plus, I spent all this money on hiring this person. Yes, that is a possible outcome. But it is not the truth. We don’t have any truth to backup that story that you’re telling yourself. And because we do our stories in the negative, it stops us from even trying, if I if I continue to listen to that storyteller in my brain, which I’m going to talk about shortly. Fight continues to listen to that negative storyteller of what it would be like to hire my first project manager to hire my first team member in my Caledonia office to hire my second team member in my Oakville office. I would not have created the lifestyle that I have been dreaming of. Since I started running my practice, and I have so many episodes that you can listen to. I will link to them in the show notes as to some of the top episodes you can go back and listen to bout my journey of getting out of one-on-one consultations, hiring my first team member, there’s quite a few. If I had listened to that story in my head saying, no, no, no, you’re going to waste your money, they’re going to leave you…

I wouldn’t have created the time freedom that I did, I wouldn’t have created this beautiful opportunity for new grads to come in and get that mentorship, learn all of the ways I built our business to almost a half a million-dollar business. And, you know, after three years, most likely they’re going to go off and do their own thing. And I’m so fine with that. I’m so comfortable with that. And I created a culture of patients that also respect that. And if I had allowed the story of what other people thought, or how much money I was going to lose, dictate my success, I would not be in the position that I am right now, which is literally, the only vision that I had for my business was to manage a team get out of doing the consultations, which were not my zone of genius and step up as a team leader, which is my zone of genius.

So how many stories are you telling yourself that are stopping you from getting what you want? Marketing on social media is a perfect example. If I post this, what about the trolls? What is my what are my colleagues going to say, if I post this way? Or if this is my new messaging tactic? What are my colleagues going to say? That tends to be the number one fear we have is not so much what the strangers are going to think, what are my colleagues going to think? And is it true? If you do a post, and you just get like attacked? Okay, cool. Now we have truth to back up that this was a bit too aggressive. This was a bit too polarizing, let’s just not do it that way again, but it is not truth that you need to get off social media, it is not truth that your topic your messaging is incorrect, it was just you may have gone a bit over the line on that particular topic. So let’s just not do that, again.

Truth happens with action. And like my mentor says, perfect action is 70%. Perfect. So, if we don’t get into that action of just doing something imperfectly, but doing it to get the truth, to get the knowing, as he likes to say not the knowledge because you can keep reading books, watching modules. But if you don’t have the knowing of actually executing and seeing what the feedback is, you will never know if it is a truth, or if it continues to be a story. And where this is really coming from is your ego versus your higher self, which I am doing the work right now.

I’m in the manifestation babe Academy and going through all the modules I’ve been basically on this energetic path for the better part of 2021. Anyway, this is where I knew I needed to start showing up. But this is a great conversation of –

Is it your ego? Or is it your Higher Self telling you the story.

So, your ego, and I love how Catherine describes it. And again, I’m not the guru here, but I’m learning my lessons, and I’m learning my things. And I love just translating it to you guys as I’m learning it. But the ego will always show up as all of a  sudden, out of nowhere, frantic, anxious, like, think of like alarm bells, like on Inside Out How anger just like becomes angry and everything’s on fire. That is your ego. Anytime you have a thought, where everything was cool, everything is cool. And then all of a sudden, panic, anxiety, these whirling negative thoughts, all the bad things that could happen. That is just your ego. And the way Catherine describes it is your ego is like a small child, it’s just this inner child in you being like, this isn’t safe. This isn’t what we’re used to. This is not okay, I don’t think you’re going to be fine. Like, I’m going to do all the things that I can to keep you small, to keep you safe to keep you where I think you need to be. And that is the ego and the ego loves to spin these negative stories that we believe are truth when they actually are not.

Your higher self, at least for me. My higher self is when I make a decision and my brain remains empty. I know it is absolutely the right path for me. When I make a decision to like literally hand over my credit card and say take my money and my brain remains empty. my higher self is totally in alignment with that action. I’ve learned to tame my ego, but Lord knows it does come up. So even with the whole CONO complaint business, my ego came up quite a bit that I had to work through those emotions and lived through the wave of fear that came with it the wave of like all of the bad case scenarios, and I had to work through that it took me the better part of like a day or two and is waved on me twice. It’s not fun. But I also knew that it wasn’t true. I also knew that I was creating this drama that has not yet played out. And I’m not going to let it control me. So, I’ve learned to calm my ego down faster and faster and faster. But it still requires effort. But it still requires you to acknowledge what the two voices sound like, your ego may sound a little bit differently, the way I’m describing it, your Higher Self may sound a little bit differently than the way I’m describing it. And this is something that as I go through hypnotherapy and start doing that with our students will be able to do hypnotherapy around listening to the ego versus the higher self. But for me, my ego comes in with a panic with an anxiety with a frantic energy. And I know that it isn’t logical thinking anymore. It’s totally irrational thought. And I have to like work through that. Whereas my higher self has always been very calm and very empty. Like no thoughts come in, no one is telling me like, this is wrong, don’t do this. This is a bad idea. And that’s how I know okay, this is the right path. And I’ve certainly had my higher self also say, I don’t think you need this. I’m not fully in alignment with this. And I’ve had to work through that as well. Because we always think higher self means positive means everything, I’m doing I’m supposed to be doing. But there certainly been some investments where I really struggled between is it my ego? Is it my higher self actually telling me this is not the right thing. And it was my higher self being like, you don’t need to make this investment. You’re good. You have all the tools that you need, you need to start being secure and comfortable with what you’ve already created and lean into that more. And frigg, Lord knows the universe slapped me upside the face in September. And again, go back and listen to that episode where I was literally tested the most I’ve ever been. And that was really cool in hindsight. But going through it, it was a lot. And again, that’s just the higher self-starting to purge. And it doesn’t always feel good. And as we step into a place of discomfort, which is where the growth happens, that also doesn’t feel good, but we have to do it. And we have to continue to just take that fear with us and walk into it.

So again, check yourself daily, what are the stories that you’re leaning in, that is stopping you from being able to take action? What is the drama that you’re creating for yourself that has no merit and it is stopping you from becoming that aligned practitioner that you want to be creating that program that you want to create, showing up on social media in the way that you fully embody that take strength, but even if someone tries to knock you down, you still stay the course. And of course, that’s involving people being triggered, and you know, giving them back their baggage, but you can absolutely control what you can control. And that was a download that I got. And it was a post it that said focus only on what you can control. When I was doing my hypnotherapy certification, I really stepped into my higher self and started getting actual universal downloads. During that weekend, it was so cool. And this was the biggest one that I still have as opposed it. Lord knows I love my post, it’s on my desk and his focus only on what you can control. And what you can control is the truth. What you can control is to stop listening to the stories that are preventing you from taking action. And what I will also say is, you’re probably not going to be able to do this work by yourself. So, align yourself with someone who can help you. Again, I have so many resources for people that will help you do that higher work. I do not say that that is a place that I feel comfortable, I can certainly call you out on it. But I don’t have the skills myself to actually help you go through it. What we do and what we’re going to be talking about in next week’s episode is the elite level membership program where you come in with all of your stories. I pick them apart, put together the action steps and my team will actually execute on your vision on creating the program on how we’re going to load up those videos on how we are going to have you engage with better systems inside your clinic. I’m going to talk all about the elite level member program next week. But for right now, you can start this work immediately and I want you to share your stories please tag me @andreamaximnd,, let me know what the stories were that you’ve acknowledged and overcome. Let me know what the story is right now that you’re trying to work through. I want to help you eliminate as much of these non-truths as humanly possible. So, you can really step into your fully aligned self, as well as getting more of that knowing not just the knowledge but getting that knowing. So, reach out to me @andreamaximnd, and I will I’ll put a link to the elite level member program in the show notes just so you have it. But stay tuned for next week where I break it all down and why we create it and why I love it so much. I’m Andrea Maxim. And I’m out.

If you liked this episode, be sure to subscribe so you are notified when a new episode is posted. leave a review and drop me a message on Instagram @andreamaximnd, as I love hearing from you. Just so you know, we also host a video version of most of our episodes on maximized business.ca Thank you so much for listening, and I will see you on the next episode.